Just Some History...

I really want to use this blog as an way to express all my feelings about everything, but in patricular about the death of my daughter. So I think in order to do that I must give you all some history. First off I had a miscarriage last June and was devestated. I'm a high risk mom being diabetic and insulin dependent when I am preggo, as well as developing high blood pressure in pregnancy. We were assured it was just something that happened and it was nothing to do with anything I had done or not done. All the same it was devestating.

After the miscarriage I was determined to get pregnant again, it consumed my mind and my heart. Amazingly 3 months later I was pregnant. The first 4 months were uncomplicated and wonderful. I had posted a blog explaining when it all started going wrong on MySpace and am going to repost it here. This is the first part of my story and I'll write the rest this weekend.

REPOSTED FROM MYSPACE...

So this might be long but I kno a lot of ppl have lots and questions so here is a lil bit of what has been going on with me...

The Saturday before New Year's I went to the ER with severe abdominal pain, it was so bad I was on the floor crying. After 8 pokes of the IV they finally got it in and told me I was dehydrated and gave me fluids. They also ran tests and said it was a reaction to Codeine, which I was taking for tooth pain. Sent me home and said I would be ok.

On Monday I went to my regular doc in tons of pain again and she admitted me to the hospital for dehydration. While in the hospital they again ran tests, thinking something might be wrong with my gallbladder. The doc released me later I found out before she got all my test results back. She gave me a medicine for my tummy and I was starting to feel better.

Day One (Thursday) : I woke up feeling ok and started to get ready to go to the high risk doc when I noticed my eyes were BRIGHT YELLOW! I called the doc and she told me to come down she was going to admit me to the hospital. I was told my gallbladder tests came back funny and they had overlooked them, that I most likely needed it to come out.

Day Two (Friday) : Had a MRCP (like a MRI done). They covered my eyes and ears so I couldnt see or hear and put me in a machine with weighted pillows on my body so I couldn't move. It was NOT fun. Met with the surgeon who said I needed my gallbladder out and that it was a very easy surgery and I should only be in hospital a couple of days. They wouldn't have to cut me open, just a few small incscions.

Day Three (Saturday): Taken into surgery at 8am. Told it would be fast, I would wake up and just feel groggy no tubes or anything in me anymore and I would be on my way to recovery. Not the case at all. I woke up in horrible pain with a tube down my nose and straight down into my stomach. It was sucking out green and black fluid from my stomach and it hurt. I was so miserable I didn't kno what was going on and the pain was so severe. I didn't find out till later what had happened. I wasn't allowed to have anything by mouth and my mouth was so dry it was choking me making me feel like I couldn't breathe.

Day Four (Sunday): Finally allowed to have ice chips THANK GOD! I was beginning to get congested and my throat was closing up with icky stuff causing me to feel I couldn't breathe and making me panic. The doc told me even tho I should be getting better that something else was wrong and they didn't kno what, or how to treat me. I am still yellow.

Day Five (Monday): The tube is finally taken out of my nose and I am able to start feeling a lil better. That tube was horrible, it had me so depressed and so down it hurt and was just awful. I finally found out that when they did my surgery they punctured my stomach and put a whole in it, that's why I was cut open and left with this 6 inch scar. They still don't kno what is wrong me with, my levels of bilirubin (which make you yellow) haven't gone down and they don't kno what to do.

Day Six (Tuesday) : I am finally allowed to drink water and late in the day eat Jello. This is the 10th day of me not eating. I've lost 22 pounds in less than 3 weeks. Once again they don't kno what's wrong with me but are thinking of releasing me so I can go see a liver specialist becuz it's possibly a liver problem. All I want is to go home I'm so depressed and sad. I wasn't suppossed to be here this long.

Day Seven (Wed) : Drainage tube is taken out of my side and I'm allowed to eat real food. I'm released from the hospital even tho they still haven't fixed me and I'm not better, but healing from surgery and being injured with that.

Since I've been home I'm still yellow. It might last my whole pregnancy. I've seen the liver specialist who is clueless as to what's causing this, but confindent it's not affecting my baby's health. I've had more labs done and will be monitored while they try and figure out something to do for me. I'm a medical mystery.