Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Being A Better Wife...

Sometimes I have this inner struggle inside me that I am not the wife I should be. Now understand I have never cheated, or done anything like that. I just sometimes feel I don't do enough for him. Maybe I don't cook or clean as much as I should. I grew up in a home where my mom rarely cooked, and I just never learned! Plus I am a picky eater and it's hard for me to cook lots of different things since I won't test them to make sure they are ok...hehe...it's funny, but it's sad too in so many ways.

I want to be the wife with all the energy in the world who can do everything. Is that possible in these days? My house is clean, maybe a little disorganized at times, but I would never be embarassed if someone just showed up at the front door. I would allow them in the living room only though! The other rooms just need some storage space :)

I give BDC all the love and support I can. I shower him with hugs and kisses. I am his best friend. I thought love is all you needed, but so many people have made it mandatory that you be more than that to be a good wife. You have to be perfect, which I am not.

I found this article on eHow.com and thought I would share. If this is all it takes them I'm in!

What do you think makes a good wife?

How to be a Better Wife
By GreenMomma

Rate: (5 Ratings)

We could all be a better wife if we tried just a little bit harder. Hopefully these tips will get you started on improving your already perfect or not so perfect marriage.

Step 1 - Get off his back. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it right now all the time. Give the man a break and stop nagging him. Remember, you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. Ask nicely and maybe you'll be happily surprised.

Step 2 - Forgive and forget. That's right, I said FORGET. That fight you had last week over washing the dishes or whatever is over an done with. Stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of what a lousy husband or father he is. Just move on already and drop it.

Step 3 - Fight fairly. This means no nasty name calling, no hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else. Just say what you have to say, get it off your chest and be sure that you don't put him down while you are doing it. If you want your husband to be crushed by the woman he loves, then so be it, but you're ruining the man you fell in love with and he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together.

Step 4 - Say I love you. Say it often, leave special notes around. Remind your husband how special he is to you.

Step 5 - Go out of your way to do something nice for him every day. If you find you never have the time, start making some fast. These gestures wont go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you.

Step 6 - Don't withhold affection. This goes for hugs, kisses and sex. Its good for both of you so kiss him often!

Step 7 - Teamwork. You are a team. Everything about you as a couple is a team. If you can pitch in and help raking the yard do it. If you help him with his chores, he'll be more likely to help you with yours - without even being asked!

Step 8 - Respect your husband in front of others and at home. Don't call your mommy or sister every time your husband does something "stupid". Keep it to yourself. There's nothing cool about putting your husband down or talking about him. What goes on between the two of you should stay that way.

Bring The Rain...

I've been reading a blog about a mother who had lost a baby shortly after birth, and I have been mesmorized by it! It's a very inspiring blog, but I must say it has been very sad lately. Angie, who writes the blog, just lost her daughter Audrey I think 7-8 weeks ago and this week her sister in law's baby died from SIDs. It's a horrible tradegy for their family and I wanted to share her site, and if you feel moved to show her some love and support.


More from me later :)

Friday, May 30, 2008

My 10 greatest joys...

1. My husband's smile

2. My daughter's laughter

3. My families love

4. Feeling the water on my feet

5. Hugging my nieces

6. Hearing my kitty meow

7. Cuddling in bed sleeping in late

8. Scrapbooking

9. Blogging

10. Being a mommy!

This was my first journal prompt from the CafeMom group "Blogspot Mommies" everyone can do theirs as detailed as they want or just a simple list like mine :) Any way you do it is right!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sick of it...

I am soooo sick of having to take care of everyone else's problems.

Now let me tell you all my life I have been the most giving, helping person to everyone around me. I say this not out of being concieted or anything of the nature. I've just always wanted to help everyone.

My dad died when I was 3, leaving my mom at widow at 36 years old. She had never in her life been on her own, never in her entire life had to support herself or run her own life. That's just the way it was. So starting at 3, I became Mom's companion. Growing up I grocery shopped, I helped around the house, I constantly stressed about helping with money, I worked my hardest to work a full time job and graduate high school early. Which by the way even though I graduated with honors and a scholarship to college, I never recieved a card or gift or even anyone saying one thing to me. My mom got the house repossessed and I had to find somewhere for us to go, all the while my older brothers never helped.

Ok to the story at hand...my older brother 'S' is mentally unstable, dying of a heart disease. It's a long story but the whole time I've taken care of him, filled out his paperwork, talked to his doctors, did everything and never have been appreciated for it. I've been yelled at and stressed out. He finally was approved for Social Security (which I did everything for starting 5 years ago). We were all happy, finally he could take care of himself instead of depending on everyone else, then getting mad when we didn't always do it his way.

Last month he recieved a letter in the mail from the Los Angeles Court stating he had a warrant for not completing drug rehab (which we knew nothing about). I wrote a letter and sent medical records showing he has a terminal illness and is out of state with family. Due to the warrant his SS was cut off. No more money.

Today I called the court after NUMEROUS times and they finally tell me he has to come back to CA. I can never explain how dramatic S is. I can already hear him saying "I my as well die now, there is nothing to live for all that happens to me is I get **ck'ed over".

I cannot deal with the stress other people put on me for their lives anymore. I have enough in my head to fill a lifetime of saddness, anger, and on and on. I need everyone to realize I just went through the worst possible thing anyone can experience.

The loss of a child. My child.

I just want to live MY life and not have to deal with everyone else's problems. I do not want people to take on my problems or feel sorry for me. I hope this hasn't sounded horrible, but I just need a break. For once I would love if my family embraced me with love and understanding that mentally and emotionally I am frail. I am broken and need the time to pick up my own pieces before I pick up their's.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bad Day...

Yesterday I woke up in the worst mood ever. And who did I yell at first? Of course, my loving husband BDC. I do in home day care so when I wake up in the morning first thing I do is clean the living room if it's messed up and vaccum.

Ok, back up some. The night before I had went to bed early (I've been craving sleep like crazy lately) and on the way to the room I remember saying...

"Baby please pick up the trash atleast out here for me?" and of course he said yes, but like most men didn't hear me.

So in the morning the living room has a trash bag on the floor, dirty socks thrown on the floor, an empty soda bottle. UGH!!!! I do admit, I'm not the best homemaker in the world and occasionally the house looks a lil...well...DISORGANIZED! I'm used to it on occasion, but this particular morning I lost it.

I ranted and raved, threw things around and made sure I did it loud enough for BDC to hear as he still lay in the bed sleeping. Normally it might have made me felt better but not now. I was miserable.

The day never got better for me and nothing bad actually happened. I was angry at the world until I went to sleep. Nothing could make me smile, nothing could break the mood I was in. I was just angry...at nothing.

I don't like being upset and miserable where it makes me feel like I did. It has happened a lot since I lost Princess, and I'm sure it was something underlying that made me think of my angel and made me angry.

Even though they don't read my blog, I am sorry BDC and Monkey. I love you.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day

We drove to Princess' grave today. It started raining on the way, so I said let's just go and make sure all her toys and flowers are ok and we can go. As soon as we turned into the drive that her lil grave is on we saw there was another baby buried by her.

It always saddens me and BDC (formally known as Hubby) when we see there is another baby buried close to Princess. We know how much pain and suffering the parents are going through, so fresh into the grieving process. Since Princess was buried in Feb. there have been 5 other babies buried there.

Today I remember all the people who have been lost, whether through fighting for us all to be free, or all the babies lost on the war on prematurity and infant loss.

My respect for the military and their families is huge. We should be remembering them everyday! We all need to remember that just because we are mad at the man running this country and his lies to us about why the war started, that our young people over there fighting are doing it for all of us and they need our support no matter what.

Ok, I'm tired and I've babbled a lil too long.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Random Pictures 5-25-07

Thought these were kinda pretty :)

I just got a new camera phone and am so happy with it! It came with a memory card and everything. Makes me feel very high class hehe. So I am sure there will be more random pic's showing the things I've seen.