Don't Understand

Last night at the hospital where I had my Princess, they had a memorial service for all the people who have passed away this year. Now me and Hubby had been planning on going...

When I recieved the letter in the mail from the chaplin I cried beyond belief. They were going to honor my daughter in a service. It was so touching, so loving to know someone else thinks of Princess...but it was also so painful. I suppose I should of been happy they were including her, and I was...but it's just so sad.

I wonder why so many babies have to die?

Before I had become preggo with Princess my aunt had lost her first baby. She had found out in pregnancy that the baby had water on his lil brain and wouldn't make it. He was here with us for 2 days before he became an angel. It was devestating to the whole family, and I'm sure we all thought it would never happen to us as a family again. It did though.

I also have a male friend who I consider my best friend. Hubby know's him and loves him too. He lives in another state and has been to visit us a couple times since we moved out of California, so these days our relationship is maintained through phone calls. He is one of the most responsible level headed men I know (I met him when we were very young, I've seen him become the man he is today). I'll call him Sparky (he would kill me if he saw that lol).

Sparky got married about a year ago to a girl he has been dating for a couple years. I was so excited for him and couldn't wait for them to have babies, even though he has always said "nah no babies for me". I knew he would be a wonderful dad and that once it happened he would be thrilled. I found out his wifey was pregnant while I was still preggo with Alyssa. We talked about sharing baby clothes if he had a girl too since Princess would be older. It was wonderful.

Two weeks ago I text him and asked what he was having. His reply "My baby died"...

I couldn't believe it! I have been horrible with the phone since Princess left, and text messaging is my form of a social life. I was bawling before I even called him. He tells me that she was 18 weeks along and something went wrong with the baby. They knew it was a boy but never saw him and never gave him a name. It killed me inside.

Sparky said they are doing fine, not to worry about them that someday they will have another baby. He is so strong.

I don't understand why there are so many mother's going through this...

I don't understand why there are so many father's going through this and being looked upon like they shouldn't grieve like a mom should...

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!