Thursday, May 22, 2008

3 Months...



Today has been 3 months since my precious baby girl left this world.

I don't know whether to think "Wow, it's gone by so fast" or "It's gone by so slow". It's as if time has gone super fast and so slow at the same exact time. I'm not sure how to deal with it, or even where I start with my feelings.

A lot of people have commented on the strength that angel mother's have, and I want to say thank you. Maybe with the power or positive thinking I can become stronger and live up to what everyone thinks. There is a certain strengeth that you are required to have...for yourself, for your family, for everyone around you. My strength comes from the Hubby and no where else. He is the reason I've made it through to the point I am now.

I need to be stronger. I need to be stronger as a mother to Monkey who is here with me. I need to be stronger as a wife. I need to be stronger for myself. It's not that I feel sorry for myself, because I don't. I've been through so much in my life that feeling sorry for myself is outta the question anymore. But I feel sorry for my precious baby girl that she never was even given a chance by anyone but me and Hubby. That's all we ever wanted, was someone else to give her a chance. One lil chance at having a future with us.

We are waiting for Princess headstone to be put in. It will bring me peace. All I think about is stuff I can do at her grave to make it prettier, or think about how I can honor her memory and share her story.

On a happier note my friend owns a Farmer's Insurance and they are doing a huge fundraiser for the March of Dimes. She is putting Princess' picture on the t-shirts they are wearing for a charity softball game. I've known her since the first day of kindy-garden and couldn't be more touched at her helping me let Princess live on.

2 comments:

Chris said...

I wish I had some wise words to make you feel better. I have experienced loss but never the loss of a child. I can't even begin to imagine how that would feel or what it would be like. I can only say, keep your precious baby girl in your heart and she will always be with you. Peace be with you and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

What a touching post ...